This is Chewbacca, It Does Not Make Sense!!!!

So I'm watching the Magic/Celtics game last night with A-Bomb and Dirty Drew and I see that the Grizzlies have fired Marc Iavaroni. I'm thinking "it's about time." The horse must go.

Anyways, the CA's report says possible candidates are former Blazers and Sixers coach Mo Cheeks and Bucks Assistant Lionel Hollins. Hollins was a pretty big shocker to see especially since he sucks. Mo Cheeks wouldn't be my first choice but whatever, he's got experience and has been to the playoffs. Personally, I'd rather have Avery Johnson or Flip Saunders but Cheeks would work.

I wake up this morning to see the report that Hollins will be the new head coach and Mo Cheeks will be his lead assistant. I'm thinking to myself: "like Chewbacca, this does not make sense."

My next move? Turn on Ron Tillery's radio show to hear how he tries to defend this. His explanation? "Why not try it out?" Well, I'll tell you why. He's interviewed for 15 other NBA head coaching jobs and how many did he get? NONE. He went to the NBA Draft Lottery one year to represent the Grizzlies and guess what? HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THE DRAFT LOTTERY WORKS. He's incompetent and his 18-46 career coaching record tells you so.

Tillery then tries to explain why Mo Cheeks will be the lead assistant. "Well, Lionel and Mo Cheeks have been friends for years and are pretty much best friends and they played together in the league." Again, like Chewbacca, this does not make sense. What would make sense? Hiring Mo Cheeks as the head coach and Lionel Hollins being his lead assistant. That would make sense, but we're talking about the same team with the same owner that thought giving Brian Cardinal $40 million was a good idea.

I would personally like to ask Michael Heisley to buy all Grizzlies fans Growl Towels so we can wipe the load of Gay-Mayo he just blew all over our respective faces.

UPDATE: ESPN.com is reporting Avery Johnson was offered a 5 year deal to be the new head coach of the Grizzlies and he turned it down. I don't blame him. Still, you could've done better than Lionel Hollins. Mr. Heisley, you still owe all of us towels to wipe off the facial you gave all Grizzlies fans.

A DOZEN ROSERS

1. Tigers play Tennessee tomorrow. Bruce Pearl is a better Tic Price. Like Tic, you that guy is bangin students.

2. Rampage Jackson will fight Keith Jardine at UFC 96. When Rampage wins, he'll get another shot at the Light Heavyweight Title sometime in October or November.

3. Celtics beat the Magic in Orlando last night. Orlando is not a championship team. They need a bench. Particularly one where they don't have big white stiffs replacing Dwight Howard.

4. Manny Pacquiao and Ricky Hatton fight is back on. Good. Pacquiao will beat him, but they will both stand in there and throw punches. This should set up a Pacquiao/Mayweather fight which would be the best fight boxing has had since the Holyfield/Bowe fights.

5. I was told that Kanye West wants to be in a bi-sexual porno with another dude and a chick. This dude just released a shitty CD and now wants to do bi-sexual porn. Sounds like somebody needs Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

6. Barack Obama and Joe Biden will be in office for the next 8 years. Yes, Obama will get re-elected. Why? I don't think you can get much done in 4 years and with our current situation, it will definitely take more than 4 years. What's the point of this? Joe Biden is pokin someone else that's not his wife. It may not come out within 8 years but it will come out within 10 years. I said the same thing about John Edwards back in 2004.

7. NBA announced their starters for the All-Star Game. Amare, Duncan, Yao, Kobe, CP3 start for the West. LB23, D-Wade, AI, D-12, and KG for the East. AI should not be starting. That should go to Joe Johnson or Devin Harris. Chris Bosh should start over KG.

8. Mets say they aren't interested in Manny Ramirez. Good. You still need pitching.

9. Cubs were sold to the Ricketts family for $900 million. Does that family know they just paid $900 million to lose?

10. Mark McGwire's brother, Jay McGwire, wants to write a book about introducing steroids to his brother. Jay says he wants Mark to "live in truth and see the light." Bullshit. You want to make money and you're a sick enough person to rat your brother out in order to get that money. Jay McGwire is a whore.

11. Stephon Marbury is intersted in playing in Greece, but that Greek team says they would rather have Janero Pargo. Evidently Marbury's image problem has gone worldwide. I never thought I'd see the day where a team would say: "We'd rather have Janero Pargo than Stephon Marbury." Whatever, he's still gettin paid bank.

12. I keep hearing news that Sidney Crosby will play but then won't play in the NHL All Star Game. Either way, I still wouldn't watch.

"Concession Stand Folks Be Droppin Salt"

Yea yea, I haven't posted anything in a month. I'm back though (at least until I get tired of posting again).

NBA FINALS:
Lakers vs. Celtics

Celtics in 6

I watched them dominate the Lakers twice this season. Yes, Pau didn't play but Bynum did and he's better than Pau. Boston has been dominant on the boards. Adding Pau and taking out Bynum tells me the C's will be dominant on them in this series. 6 games is a stretch. Bean Town could take this in 5.

Kobe vs. Jordan talk has come up all weekend and it came up on Geoff and Gary's Show this morning. All Kobe needs are the rings now to be in the conversation. The MVP's will keep coming as long as they seem like overwhelming favorites to make the Finals every year. With Bynum coming back next season, there's no reason for me to not believe LA won't be there for another 6 years.

Bottom Line is that I think Kobe is honestly the most talented basketball player I've ever seen in my life, but he hasn't won like Jordan so he isn't Jordan. Jordan is the greatest. I reserve the right to change my mind in 6 years when Kobe is sporting 3 or 4 more rings. Scottie Pippen is also better than any player Kobe has on his team. It's not close, don't say Odom or Pau is Kobe's SP33. It's not true and you sound like a moron if you say so. Pippen has led a team by himself to playoff wins and was 3rd in MVP voting when Jordan was gone for that year. That's better than Pau or Odom will ever do. Pippen was on the Dream Team and was named a top 50 player in the NBA. I can name over 50 players in the NBA better than Gasol....and I will

Kobe Bryant
Tim Duncan
Manu Ginobili
Tony Parker
Tracy McGrady
Yao Ming
Baron Davis
Stephen Jackson
Monta Ellis
Elton Brand
Steve Nash
Amare Stoudemire
Ron Artest
Dirk Nowitzki
Josh Howard
Jason Kidd
Chris Paul
David West
Tyson Chandler
Allen Iverson
Carmelo Anthony
Al Jefferson
Brandon Roy
Kevin Durant
Deron Williams
Carlos Boozer
Mehmet Okur
Gilbert Arenas
Antawn Jamison
Caron Butler
Dwight Howard
Dwyane Wade
Shawn Marion
Joe Johnson
Josh Smith
Michael Redd
Richard Hamilton
Chauncey Billups
Rasheed Wallace
LeBron James
Luol Deng
Ben Gordon
Chris Bosh
Andre Igoudala
Vince Carter
Richard Jefferson
Kevin Garnett
Paul Pierce
Ray Allen
Lamar Odom
Andre Miller
Zach Randolph
LaMarcus Aldridge
Emeka Okafor
Gerald Wallace
Kevin Martin


Some of those may be up for debate, so feel free to argue. I also left Andrei Kirilenko off that list. He's probably better than Pau. So if you include Kirilenko, that's 57 players better than Gasol. 58 if I include Marcus Camby.

NBA DRAFT:
If OJ Mayo isn't at #5 (and I don't expect him to be), then you draft big with both picks. You need big men and there's opportunity for them here to play right away. I like Kevin Love with the #5 pick and take a flyer on another big man at #28 (just not Dorsey).

Yes, there's a lot of truth to Miami not being in love with Michael Beasley. I would do everything I could to trade up and get him. Trade your 5 and Mike Miller to Miami for the 2 and whatever crappy player they want to give us to make the contracts equal up (we need crappy bench players since Jacobsen and Andre Brown's contracts have rolled off the books).

Why I like Kevin Love? He can rebound and score in the post and he has 2 things you cannot teach: 1. BBall IQ 2. Shot blocking. People say he was crappy against Memphis. Dude still dropped 12pts, 9rebs, 3blk. He knows how to play. Dough Boy will drop weight (he's already shed 15lbs). He's been awesome his entire life and the success ratio of top 10 players in HS to the NBA has been very good over the last 10 years. It's been known since Dough Boy was in HS that him, Eric Gordon, D-Rose, Beasley and Mayo were "THAT" much better than everybody else. I like taking a guy that I know has been awesome his entire life. So if they took Eric Gordon over Love would I be upset? No. Gordon can play too. EG23 still dropped 21 a game w/ a broken wrist and no coach.

GOLF:
Tiger Woods isn't coming to Memphis again this year. So again, I do not care about the Stanford St. Jude Championship. They did give me a nice tie from Brooks Brothers though, so for that, I do thank them.

MLB:
Does Ozzie Guillen know his team is in first place?

JOAKIM NOAH:
Yannick Noah says he doesn't know what the big deal about his son getting caught w/ an open container and marijuana is? That's exactly why your son is the way he is. Show me a parent (Yannick) that doesn't care and I'll show you a kid (Joakim) that doesn't either. I'm not surprised by it and what athletes wanna do is their business, just don't get caught. Like, ummm, maybe keep that stuff in your house.

BELMONT STAKES:
Big Brown still has that crack in his front left hoof. I don't wanna be Debbie Downer, but PETA is gonna go nuts if this horse breaks that hoof running at a speed on Saturday that it hasn't run at since cracking that hoof. Hoof on Big Brown!!!

STANLEY CUP FINALS:
The first time I've been excited about hockey in, well, ever. Pens are a blast to watch and the Red Wings are the Red Wings. That being said, they've made Pittsburgh look inexperienced and young.

The Pens do have the best play by play announcer ever in Mike Lange so here are his top 10 calls.....

NBA PLAYOFFS....Where Bad 1st Rounds Happen

At this point, the only thing you can hope for is Philly to beat Detroit. Bad thing about that is then the Eastern Conference become totally worthless. The Pistons are boring to watch (not as boring as the NFL Draft), but they are still the only Eastern Conference team I think has a chance to knock off the C's. Maybe Orlando, they won 3 of 4 in the regular season but I doubt it.

Melo said his team "quit." Thanks for stating the obvious. I love Melo's game, but he really might be the most overrated player in the NBA.

Western Conference? We'll have Lakers/Jazz and Spurs/Hornets. Now the playoffs begin.

Saw C-Webb on the TNT broadcast last night. Not a bad job. I hope Kenny Smith doesn't take the Knicks GM job. That TNT crew is the best in sports.

NFL DRAFT
I saw a little bit on the 2nd day. Why do people care about the 2nd round pick out of Appalachian State? Everybody likes to see who their teams draft, when the reality is you probably haven't seen 2 full games of those guys in college. All they do on ESPN is just talk over each other so there's no real analysis going on.

MLB:
So the Devil Rays are in 1st place and the Yankees don't have 1 guy batting over 300? Yep, it's April. Which means baseball doesn't matter right now. Not even the Cubs being in 1st place.

Speaking of the Cubs, I'll give Alfonso Soriano the award for guy who should be the best player in baseball but isn't. He vows to return Tuesday. Anyways, if this guy would stop swinging for the fences everytime he came up, he could be unstoppable. As it is, he's not as good as he could be.


COLLEGE HOOPS:
John Calipari signed his extension the same weekend that Wesley Witherspoon visited. Cal is worth every penny. Do whatever you have to do to keep him here.

This video is from over the weekend....pretty funny stuff when talking about Giants OF Aaron Rowand

NBA PLAYOFFS......Where Kobe Happens

Kobe was Kobe last night. It doesn't matter who you put on him, he'll beat them. Kenyon Martin does have size and strength, but Kobe can go around him. AI has the speed, but Kobe can post and shoot over him. Check out Pau's alley oop pass to Kobe in the video. Sick.

-What is JR Smith doing talking trash to Kobe late in that game? Shut up until you've accomplished something. I'm sure AI and Melo told him the same thing.

-Detroit buried Philly last night. No surprise. Philly may get 1 at home, but Detroit wins this in 5 or 6 now.

-Boston owned Atlanta.....again.....big yawn

-Utah goes up 3-0 tonight on Houston. T-Mac said he had "nothing left" in the 4th quarter the other night. That's what separates LeBron and Kobe from you. You find away to take that game over. You don't take just 4 shots in the 4th quarter. True superstars find a way to win that game. True superstars don't think about being tired at the end of playoff games.

-Is Washington done? We'll find out tonight. I think they get a W tonight. They'll get more than 12pts each from their Big 3.

-Toronto isn't done yet. They win tonight at home. They can still win this series, but it doesn't matter. Both teams lose to Detroit in the 2nd round. "The Future" (there ya go Andrew) needs a real point guard. Nelson is ok.

-I don't think the Suns are done yet. They know they have to play better defense in the 2nd half. I know they have to play better defense in the 2nd half. You know they have to play better defense in the 2nd half. Their coaching staff knows they have to play better defense in the 2nd half. Show some heart and do it. You have the talent to beat this team.

NFL:
Pacman Jones was traded to Dallas. Now get reinstated.

-NFL will not allow the Rams to start negotiating w/ guys for their 2nd pick. F U NFL. Whatever, the NBA playoffs will be on and I'd rather watch that than your boring draft.

BASEBALL:
So I had to work a Mississippi State baseball game last night. Let me just say this about college baseball: it sucks. There are some good hitters, but not many good pitchers. This game was something like 12-7 last night and 15-7 the night before. State also lost 20-5 over the weekend to Alabama. College baseball pitching sucks and the reason it sucks is because if you are really good then you go from high school to the pros (minor leagues).

NBA PLAYOFFS.....Where home teams winning happens

-The Mavericks absolutely have ZERO heart. They look old and slow. I know why Avery Johnson was ready to ship out Dirk after last years playoffs for Kobe in the offseason. Would've been the right move by Dallas if they could've pulled it off. David West gets up in Dirk's grill and he backs down. Attitude is something you need in the playoffs. Dallas lost their swagger in Miami 2 years ago. That being said, I expect them to win 1 of these games at home if not both of them. No way they win the series though.

-Phoenix trades Marion for Shaq just so they can match up better with San Antonio. Phoenix still has the problem they've always had. NO DEFENSE!!! You get down by 16 to San Antonio and good luck coming back. You get down by 16 to the Suns and, well, you see what can happen. Consistent defense is the difference between these 2 teams.

-Houston WILL get swept. We should've seen this coming. They can't beat Utah with a healthy Yao Ming last year so how are they supposed to make it a series this year w/o a healthy Ming and Rafer Alston?

-Philly and Detroit play Game 2 tonight. Sixers could get another one in this series, but I still don't expect them to win it. Chauncey Billups missed 3 of 4 FT's down the stretch the other night. That doesn't happen again. Dude shoots 90% from the line.

-Orlando goes up 2-0 on Toronto. I thought Chris Bosh panicked in those closing seconds. Take the ball to the hole. Either way, at least they didn't get blown out. This series isn't over at all.

-Boston and Atlanta play Game 2 tonight......yawn

It was in the paper today that Donnie Walsh favors either Mark Jackson or Herb Williams to be the next head coach of the Knicks. We'll see what they can do.

NFL
Jake Long will be the #1 pick in the draft. When Roger Goodell gets up to the podium on Saturday it better be "The Miami Dolphins have the 1st pick they are on the clock." Goodell immediately walks to the end of the stage, gets the notecard, goes back to the podium and says "The Miami Dolphins select Jake Long, offensive tackle from the University of Michigan." I do not want to wait 3 minutes for the Dolphins announcing they are going to take Jake Long (kinda like how the Texans took almost all 15 minutes to announce they were drafting David Carr when they already had agreed to a contract).

I'm sure there will be a lot of good players that come out of this draft, but other than Run DMC and Glenn Dorsey, it lacks serious star power.

MLB:
Ever wonder why the Red Sox have a better organization than the Yankees? Starting pitching is one thing, but the owners in Boston stay out of the way. When you hire a guy to be your GM and your manager, let them run the team. The Yankees say they're the most professional team in sports (no facial hair and blah blah blah) yet their owners do the most unprofessional things (i.e. undermining the authority of their GM and coach in the media for all the players to see and hear). I hope Michael Heisley is reading this.....

COLLEGE BASKETBALL:
Antonio Anderson and Robert Dozier declared for the NBA Draft. My gut tells me they'll both come back to school. I think they both have the skills to play in the NBA. Anderson will be either a 2nd round pick or undrafted if he comes back or not. Dozier has the ability to stay, gain weight, and be a potential 1st round pick next year. I do believe Anderson can defend NBA level guys. If he makes it there, he'll be lock down defender and corner 3pt shot guy. If Ime Udoke can play in the NBA, so can Antonio Anderson.

Derek Kellogg will be introduced as new UMASS coach today. Good luck DK. Cal has a lot of work to do in revamping his coaching staff. He's lost Chuck Martin and DK. Kellogg was also his best recruiter. That's a tough one to replace.

UCONN women's coach Geno Auriemma says Pat Summitt ended their series w/ the Lady Vols because Summitt accused Auriemma of cheating in recruiting. I like Pat Summitt, but get in the game.

I've had this song in my head for a few days now.....

Highlight of the Weekend....

That dunk was absolutely nasty....

That's why I took the Cavs. At the end of the game, it comes down to whether you want Gilbert Arenas, Caron Butler, and Antawn Jamison on your team or would you rather have LeBron James. I'll take James. That's why the Cavs win this series.

Pau Gasol looked like Wilt Chamberlain yesterday. Well, that had a lot to do with Denver's lack of defense.

Rockets could go out in 4.

Atlanta has no chance, but Al Horford will be a player in this league for years to come.

Good win by Philly. I don't know if they can beat Detroit 4 times, but they were tough coming back from 15 down. Bad Thad and Carney representin.

New Orleans doesn't appear to be hurt by their "lack of playoff experience." Is lack of playoff experience overrated? We don't seem to think so in Memphis, but haven't we all just realized that we didn't have good enough players? If you have players, and the Hornets do, you can win some games (see Golden State last year).

I hate the Spurs. Phoenix hung tough in that 2nd OT even w/o Stoudemire. I don't like to get into X's and O's, but when Finley hit the first 3 to send it to OT, what was Phoenix doing on defense? Don't you switch Barbosa onto Oberto and let the big man jump out on Finley? Amare had a great game, so I don't want to kill the guy. However, you switch Stoudemire onto Finley and Barbosa on the block against Oberto. Are they gonna throw it to Oberto? Maybe, but they need a 3 to tie so he's got to kick it back out. Otherwise, he scores a 2 and it's a foul shooting contest the last 10-15 seconds. Nash dominates the ball and makes free throws. Anyways, there's Coach Roser's rant for the day.

Toronto vs. Orlando....blah, who cares

Bed Of Rosers.....Where Amazing Happens

NBA Playoff time. The Western Conference has some good first round matchups, but it could've been better. I'll take it thought. This should be the best playoffs in a long long time.

Western Conference

(1) LA Lakers vs. (8) Denver (Lakers in 4 or 5)

(2) New Orleans vs. (7) Dallas (Mavs in 7)

(3) San Antonio vs. (6) Phoenix (Spurs in 7)

(4) Utah vs. (5) Houston (Jazz in 6)

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston vs. (8) Atlanta (Celtics in 4)

(2) Detroit vs. (7) Philadelphia (Pistons in 4)

(3) Orlando vs. (6) Toronto (Raptors in 6)

(4) Cleveland vs. (5) Washington (Cavs in 7) *and only because DeShawn Stevenson said LeBron James was overrated. Wrong guy to piss off.

Conference Semi-Finals
Western Conference

(1) LA Lakers vs. (4) Utah (Lakers in 5)

(3) San Antonio vs. (7) Dallas (Mavs in 7)

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston vs. (4) Cleveland (Celtics in 7)

(2) Detroit vs. (6) Toronto (Pistons in 5)

Conference Finals

Western Conference

(1) LA Lakers vs. (7) Dallas (Lakers in 7)

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston vs. (2) Detroit (Celtics in 6)

NBA FINALS

(1) Boston vs. (1) LA Lakers (Celtics in 7)

The Boston pick is based solely on the fact that I don't think Andrew Bynum will be healthy enough to give the Lakers what they'll need in that series. If he plays and plays well early in the playoffs then I'll take the Lakers in 7. Keep in mind, I believe this is a lot of teams last chances to win the Finals for a few years. When the Lakers have Bynum, Kobe, Gasol and Odom healthy next year I think they reel off 2 or 3 titles straight.

Those are your picks. This playoff season will be great.